{"id":2284,"date":"2010-12-25T00:01:47","date_gmt":"2010-12-25T00:01:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/?p=2284"},"modified":"2010-12-25T07:08:06","modified_gmt":"2010-12-25T07:08:06","slug":"happy-holidayz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/2010\/12\/happy-holidayz\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Holidayz"},"content":{"rendered":"

So all of us at GCSA love Christmas. However, over the years, Santa has ceased to do business with us for various reasons. But fortunately, a little mythical fellow came to our aid. This year, we’re happy to share with you the legend of the Ghetto Elf. While Santa is delivering pricey gifts to all the good children in lavish homes, the Ghetto Elf tries to bring a little joy to everybody else. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, whether you’re naughty or nice, or anything else. Ghetto Elf knows everybody falls on hard times once in a while. His goal is to bring a happy holiday to everyone.<\/p>\n

Below, we have The Legend of Ghetto Elf<\/em> as penned by Alex Flanders. Enjoy.<\/p>\n

Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through the hood
\nNot a hobo was stirring, not even for food
\nThe drugs were hid, and the hoes fixed their tops
\nIn hopes that they wouldn’t be found by the cops
\nThe children are nestled all snug in their beds
\nWhile fears of drive-bys filled their heads
\nAnd as I climbed in bed for a little nap
\nI envisioned myself, about to bust a cap<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
\nI sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
\nAway to the window I flew like the Flash
\nTore open the shutters, and hid all the hash
\nThe liquor store’s light shone bright on the snow
\nIlluminating a sight on the earth below
\nWhen what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
\nBut a small elf with a half empty beer
\nHe moved with a sword as big as himself
\nI knew in a moment it must be the Ghetto Elf!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

He rolled in a 1987 Cutlass, oh what a folly
\nHe whistled and groaned, calling it Dolly
\nUp on my house he flew as he murmured “woo-woo”
\nWith a sack full of toys, and probably drugs too!
\nAnd then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
\nThe sound of a gunshot, and someone aloof
\nThis was followed by cursing and shouting galore
\nThen more gunshots… followed by gore<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

As I drew my gun and turned around
\nDown the fire escape he came with a bound
\nHe was dressed all in blue like a great big smurf
\nI knew in a second homeboy was on the wrong turf
\nA bundle of toys he held in a sack
\nAnd he looked like a hobo opening up his pack
\nHis eyes how they twinkled, and his skin how it sparkled in the light
\nOh wait, I’m sorry that was the vampire from Twilight
\nThis elf before me looked drunk or drugged
\nHis clothes looked like he’d just been mugged
\nRegardless of his appearance or wealth
\nHe began to put presents right on my shelf!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ignoring the milk and the cookies my daughter had wanted to make
\nHe went to my fridge and cooked himself a steak!
\nWho was this elf, what did he want?
\nI started to ask, but then he started to taunt!
\nWoo-dee-woo! I’m the Ghetto Elf!
\nSo step aside, I’ve got no time
\nDon’t make me bust a rhyme!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

With that the strange man did a funny dance
\nThen raced out the door, sagging his pants
\nRevving up his Cutlass, he flew into the night
\nYelling and shouting till he flew out of sight.
\nWoo-dee-woo! I\u2019m the Ghetto Elf!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

A true masterpiece, if I do say so myself. For those who doubt, we have some proof for you! Below you’ll find pictures of the Ghetto Elf’s Cutlass and a present from him too! If you wish real hard, there may be an interview or video soon!<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The Ghetto Elf's 1987 Cutlass Ciera<\/p><\/div>\n

\"A<\/a>

A present from the Ghetto Elf<\/p><\/div>\n

By Sharp and Flame,
\nCarter<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So all of us at GCSA love Christmas. However, over the years, Santa has ceased to do business with us for various reasons. But fortunately, a little mythical fellow came to our aid. This year, we’re happy to share with you the legend of the Ghetto Elf. While Santa is delivering pricey gifts to all […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2284","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2284","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2284"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2284\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2293,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2284\/revisions\/2293"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2284"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2284"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mygcsa.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2284"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}